It's You vs. You
Step 1: so wtf is imposter syndrome?
Imposter syndrome is a commonly reported and experienced phenomenon that affects high-functioning, high-achieving individuals. These individuals cannot internalize their success and subsequently experience pervasive feelings of self-doubt, anxiety, depression, and/or apprehension of being exposed as a fraud in their work, despite verifiable and objective evidence of their successfulness.
I have found personally that many athletes, elite individuals, as well as those who have suffered from trauma & broken generational curses suffer massively from this "issue." Imposter syndrome thrives on self-doubt, not facts, & can be a little devil on one's shoulder constantly questioning whether or not you deserve to be where you are.
Me? Well shoot girl, I suffer massively from IS. Statistically, I should not be here. Stats show that based on my upbringing, education & traumatic experiences that NO WAY I should be living out my dream life right now. But against all odds, I am.
This last week my husband & I were so fortunate enough to attend the Presidential Inauguration. Night one we attended an Inauguration Ball that had me pinching myself all night. We were in the highest security, most VIP section of the party where A list celebs, the Vice President himself, professional sports teams owners, Trumps family, Prime Minister, etc were.. I could go on. It was absolutely surreal to say the least.
I had to constantly check myself and REMIND MYSELF that I worked hard to be where I'm at. It was no accident I was there. We did not stumble in past the nation's highest level of security. No, we were on that list. And after I checked myself, there was a moment of pride with a smile & celebration.
Reminder: If you're in the room, you've earned it. Your skills and experience got you there, not luck.
Action Tip: Keep a "Wins List" on your phone or journal. Write down every achievement, big or small, that you’re proud of. When doubt creeps in, read it to remind yourself of your badassery.
Step 2: Reframe Your Inner Critic
Going after your big, hairy, audacious goals & breaking out of your shell to do scary things.. well, it can be VERY scary. It's only human to have self doubt & watch your life flash before your eyes.
What if I fail?
What if I lose everything?
What will people think of me?
What if people make fun of me?
What if I lose friends?
What if I lose all of my money?
What if I miss out?
Self-doubt often whispers, "What if I fail?" But what we need to do is lip the script:
What if I succeed?
What if I get everything I ever dreamt of?
What if I gain all the confidence in the world?
What if I let go of what people think of me?
What if I meet incredible people?
What if my bank account grows exponentially?
What if I am introduced to even more opportunities?
What if I gain a wealth of knowledge?
Confidence isn’t the absence of fear—it’s doing the scary thing anyway.
Mantra: “I am capable. I am prepared. I am enough.” Repeat it before walking into any intimidating situation & walk in the room like you own a motherfucker.
Step 3: Confidence Is a Muscle—Train It
Confidence grows when you consistently step outside your comfort zone. You know what I always say?
RUN TOWARDS FEAR.
Look at it in the fucking eye & say TRY ME. And then give it all you got. THAT is how confidence is built. This is what I call compound confidence. It's doing small, scary things over & over again, like a small snowball that builds over time. Slowly but surely, you will have built up an army of confidence within yourself.
Sometimes you win, sometimes you fail & fall right on your face in front of everyone- but you learn. And if you can learn one thing, well in my book that IS winning.
Start small: Speak up in a meeting, pitch a bold idea, or try something new at the gym.
Action Tip: At the end of every week, reflect on one moment where you took a brave step. Celebrate it, no matter the outcome. So often in life we forget to celebrate the wins. Our family just got a little gong we placed in our kitchen. Every time we get a win, we celebrate together. Recognizing the wins, big and small, will add to your confidence in recognizing your self worth the next time you walk into an intimidating situation.
Step 4: Visualize Success Before It Happens
Athletes do it, performers do it, and you can too. Close your eyes and see yourself succeeding—walking into the room, nailing the presentation, or closing the deal.
I recently went to Miami for a high-performers weekend with HPLT, a high performance lifestyle group where we practiced breath work. Now at first I thought to myself, screw this woo-hoo meditation, this isn't my jam. But I checked myself & reminded myself that I was there to do hard things.
WOW! This was NOT what I expected. With a blindfold on & within 15 minutes I was imagining my goals crystal clear. I could see who was there with me, what I was wearing- all of the details I envisioned as if it were real.
IF YOU CAN BELIEVE IT, YOU CAN ACHIEVE IT.
Pro Move: Pair visualization with power poses. A confident stance (hands on hips, chin slightly lifted) can trick your brain into feeling powerful.
Step 5: You Don’t Have to Be Perfect to Be Worthy
Perfection is a myth. Authenticity is magnetic.
More than ever in 2025 people want real. They want to hear and see your struggles, they want to learn WITH you along the way, learning from your mistakes. Sharing your trauma, experiences & lessons learned along the way don't make you a failure- they make you human. Share your journey, not just the highlight reel. Vulnerability is strength.
Feeling like you don't deserve to be in a room full of excellence is humbling. This doesn't mean you need to have self-doubt of your presence, but it also doesn't mean we should forget how frickin cool it is to be there in the first place!
GRATITUDE IS THE ATTITUDE. Perfection is not real, so do not chase that. Chase gratitude. Because the more you can pause, be present, remind yourself of your worth & give thanks to where you are in that moment, the more cool shit will happen to & for you.
I promise.
