Valentine’s Day is here, and while the world is busy pushing dinner reservations and heart-shaped chocolates, let’s talk about something that actually matters—love languages. Not just in relationships, but in how you show up for yourself and the people who make your life better.

We all know the classic love languages—words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, gifts, and physical touch. But mastering them isn’t just about romance. It’s about building stronger friendships, showing up as the best version of yourself, and yes, even making sure you feel appreciated.

Because here’s the thing: when you learn how to give and receive love in the right ways, your entire life levels up. Whether you’re celebrating with a partner, your besties, or just treating yourself to something that makes you feel like that girl, knowing your love language (and how to use it) is the ultimate power move.

Let’s break them down—because this year, we’re making love languages work for us.

Love On Top

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Words of Affirmation: Speak It Into Reality

If words can hurt, they can definitely heal. Mastering this love language is all about the power of self-talk and hype-girling your people.

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• Talk Nicely to Yourself: Ditch the self-doubt and replace it with affirmations. (Ex: “I am powerful, confident, and unstoppable.”) I love-hate doing this but it is so necessary. I especially find it powerful when I'm about to walk into a scary or uncomfortable situation. I flip my hair & remind myself who the fuck I am.
• Friends & Partner: Compliment more. This has been a game changer for me, personally, because selfishly there is something in it for me. I FEEL GOOD when I am giving & when I am making others feel good about themselves. Neuroscience backs this up! Helping others activates the brain’s reward system, releasing oxytocin and dopamine, which boost happiness and strengthen emotional bonds. Who doesn't love a compliment? Speak encouragement. A simple “I appreciate you” or "I love your makeup today" goes a long way & can quite literally make someone's entire day.
• Try This: Write a love letter…to yourself. Yes, actually. What do you love about you? This might be harder than you think, and if you're stuck writing traits you love about yourself down, you may have identified an even bigger problem. But not to worry, when you identify a problem, you can start on the solution. Writing down what you love about yourself is the perfect first step in the right direction.

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2. Quality Time: Who (and What) Gets Your Energy?

You don’t “find time” for things—you make time for what matters. Mastering this means setting priorities, creating boundaries and being present.

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• Make Time for Yourself: Romanticize solo time. Take yourself on a walk, unplug, and be your own best company. Honestly put your fucking phone down. This I've learned is one of the toughest things to do but most freeing.
• Friends & Partner: Put the phone down. Are you seeing the theme here? If I'm in bed with my husband & on my phone texting or scrolling he will turn to me and say "so who's in bed with us?" It's one of those things when you look at your partner pissed that they're always right! Because it's so damn true. No one else should be in bed with you (unless you're into that kind of stuff, I guess!) Be all-in when you’re with them—no distractions, no half-listening. Giving someone your full attention & eye contact is a beautiful compliment.
• Try This: Plan a zero-phone coffee date with your best friend or partner. Eye contact is underrated. Wow, really on theme here!!

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3. Acts of Service: Show, Don’t Just Say

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This love language is about action > words. It’s how you show up for yourself and others in ways that actually matter. Remember, peeople remember how you make them feel, not what you say you're going to do.

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• Don't Forget About Yourself: Prep healthy meals, lay out your gym clothes—future you will thank you. It's easy to put other people, spouses, children or your work ahead of your own needs. Try putting yourself first for once. Put yourself first. You are the CEO of your life! If you aren't happy, healthy & fulfilled, how are you going to take care of others? They deserve your best self and YOU deserve your best self.
• Friends & Partner: Anticipate needs. Help with a task without being asked. Small efforts = huge impact. This is actually SO easy to do because these days MANNERS are a lost art. Hold open a door, help a mama bring groceries to her car, put away the dishes. Doing things without being asked is a beautiful gesture. Especially if you're a husband & close the cupboards all on our won.. HUGE!
• Try This: Do one thing today that sets “tomorrow you” up for success. Lay your clothes out, put the clothes in the laundry ready to roll or prep your coffee. Save yourself 5 mins in the morning & watch your entire day be more successful!

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4. Gifts: It’s the Thought, Not the Price Tag

Gifting isn’t about luxury—it’s about meaning. The best gifts are reminders that someone thought of you, they took the time & genuinely thought about what would bring YOU joy. We love a thoughtful queen or king.

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• Treat Yourself: Buy the good coffee. Splurge on skincare. Take the day off to get a mani & facial. Little luxuries matter. Better yet, if you have been eyeing something bigger, say a beautiful handbag, set a goal. Work towards it and for it. It's more than just a handbag, it will represent your hard work & dedication & mean that much more!
• Friends & Partner: Small, unexpected surprises > big, expected gifts. It’s the “I saw this and thought of you” moments that count. What's funny is it's almost always the "I thought you would love this" gifts that are the most memorable & that I hold close to my heart. A silly card, a healthy snack or yummy candle. Who doesn't love a surprise "I thought of you" gift? Hint: I love Santal candles for anyone asking.
• Try This: Gift yourself something now that future you will love (a book, a course, a massage). And I say future self. Set it for down the line. Whether it's a massage later in the week or a dedicated moment where you go get that purse you've worked so hard for. Make it a special moment & love yourself for it.

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5. Physical Touch: The Mind-Body Connection

This one isn’t just about relationships—it’s about feeling good in your own skin.

• Yourself: Move your body daily. Strength, mobility, and even self-care (massages, stretching) are key. Every morning I se tup by the first, stretch & open my hips. And if you haven't been to an Asian Reflexology Foot Spa, I highly suggest & be prepared to have your mind blown. Truly no better way to spend $65 & unplug for an hour.

• Friends & Partner: Hugs aren’t just feel-good—they actually release oxytocin (aka the bonding hormone). Holding hands, hugging, or even a pat on the back can lower blood pressure and reduce stress. A University of North Carolina study found that hugging releases oxytocin, which lowers heart rate and cortisol. And ladies! Attention! Every man's love language (or one of them) is physical touch!!! The power of a long, loving kiss or hug is a gamechanger to relationships. Couples who engage in regular physical touch report higher relationship satisfaction and lower conflict levels. You're welcome!
• Try This: Give yourself a real skincare routine. The ritual of taking care of yourself is underrated. Again, get unplugged! My favorite way to unwind at home is either a full, dedicated 75 step skin care routine, or a magnesium epsom salt bubble bath with a clay mask. Give it a try, you won't regret it :)

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Taking Action Girl, Get It Done

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Love isn’t just about grand gestures—it’s about understanding how people feel most valued and showing up in a way that truly resonates. Whether it’s through words, actions, time, touch, or thoughtful gifts, expressing love in the right “language” can deepen connections, boost happiness, and even improve your health.

This Week’s Challenge:

Pick one love language that isn’t naturally your own and find a way to express it to someone in your life. Maybe it’s writing an encouraging text, planning a distraction-free coffee date, or doing a small chore for your partner before they even ask. Push yourself to speak their language and see what happens!

💡 Bonus: Notice how YOU feel when you express love differently—sometimes, giving in a new way opens us up to receiving love better, too.

Let me know how it goes! 🚀 ❤️

With love and hustle always,

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